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She had felt like her face was cracking just walking to and from the bus. She wondered if he had been suffering from hypothermia, rather than a weird flu.“I kind of stayed out in the cold a little too long,” Dan said.“It was freezing yesterday. You’re lucky you didn’t die out there,” Diana said. She put the stack of papers down and said, “You should probably take a shower. I’ll heat up some soup for you.”“Thanks,” Dan said.“By the way, your friend Sue offered to paint a picture of me,” Diana. Nobody likes to feel used, him especially, perhaps him even more so because he’d always made a point of never treating a woman as just another hole to fuck, another conquest like some of his friends did. But then he’d never behaved like he had last night. And yet he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. He’d thought he’d had good sex before but he’d never been with a girl who made him lose himself so completely that he forgot what he was doing. And now he had, he wasn’t sure he’d be. “Horrible man,” she said, “He had high cholesterol so I always made sure he had a fried breakfast,”“So why did you marry him?” I asked.“Cause I was pregnant of course, and he had a job in Swallow bank,” she sighed, “Of course it wasn’t his, well probably not, I was seeing Tom Bradby and Mike Grimshaw, and Mike’s Dad, Alan from the corner shop, he slipped me twenty quid when I let him do me, that was a lot of money at the time, anyway me husband did me once when I got very drunk, and I mean I. And so an oral tradition is necessary. (Although if asked, most muscle-bound barbarians would think that an oral tradition is something that pleasure slaves are trained to do.)Anyway, the saying pertinent to this part of our story is this: "Never, ever give a witch, wizard, or sorcerer an even break. 3 feet of steel through the gizzard will mess up any spell they are trying to cast on you at the time."In Gonad The Ballbarian's case, this was a little too long for him to remember. So his.
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